


Fucking Ricky; the one where we don’t fuck Ricky—there isn’t even a character named Ricky

by rapmonbro420



Category: i love new york, obama - Fandom, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi, my prent might see, ples ndont read
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-16
Updated: 2017-07-16
Packaged: 2018-12-02 20:33:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11516934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rapmonbro420/pseuds/rapmonbro420
Summary: Just 4 fucke  up college students trying to write a porno. irs ppretty bad





	1. Chapter 1

It’s a dark and stormy night. It’s Friday the 13th the night before Halloween. That’s not even original. But it’s fucking funny. Omigod she was hot. She was hot like tater tot. Probably because she was dressed like a tater tot. Like a sexy tater tot. I was at a Halloween party. I am from Idaho. I like potatoes. Especially this potato. My friends call me Rap monstr. They are all potatoes. My party is jus potatoe an girl dresses like potatoe. I need her. She is dope.   
I have medium length sspikey hair with blue highlights and red contacts. I am also wearing ripped b;ack jeans and a “Super BROCCOLI” T shirt that was cut short to show off the tasteful rap-boobs. I was lookin fine as fuck. She was ready to eat my booty. My .potato called Jin, Junngook, Jimin, Jhope, V, SUga and I love them,. So starchy boys. 

Starchy boys. I love my starchy boys. I look like a boy. But I want a girl. And potato. She is emo, and she understands the darkness inside. There is no light anymore, only darkness. And Jin, I love Jin. He is dark and smoky. The way that I like it. I am looking to eat booty tonight. Eating booty in the darkness is my favorite.   
“SHOTssHOTSSHot./SSHOTS” SUGAR JUmpsON THE TAblE AND SHOUTS. HE GRABS A BOTTLE OF TEQui/a AND POURS IT ALL OVER HImse/lLF. HE RIPS OFF ONE OF HIS 12 SHIRts AND IT HITS ME IN THE FACE. YUM.   
“I HATE SneKUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” SOMEONE YE11S FROM ACR0OS THE RO0m.  
From across the room I saw someone melting a gum drop with a lighter. I knew wat I had to do. I swiped my arm across the coffee table, knocking off everything. Jungkook knew too. He helped me lay down on the coffee table and dripped the melted gum drop over my exposed belly and tasteful rap-boobs.  



	2. I dont know how to post correctly

I was lookin fine as fuck. She was ready to eat my booty. My .potato called Jin, Junngook, Jimin, Jhope, V, SUga and I love them,. So starchy boys. 

Starchy boys. I love my starchy boys. I look like a boy. But I want a girl. And potato. She is emo, and she understands the darkness inside. There is no light anymore, only darkness. And Jin, I love Jin. He is dark and smoky. The way that I like it. I am looking to eat booty tonight. Eating booty in the darkness is my favorite.   
“SHOTssHOTSSHot./SSHOTS” SUGAR JUmpsON THE TAblE AND SHOUTS. HE GRABS A BOTTLE OF TEQui/a AND POURS IT ALL OVER HImse/lLF. HE RIPS OFF ONE OF HIS 12 SHIRts AND IT HITS ME IN THE FACE. YUM.   
“I HATE SneKUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” SOMEONE YE11S FROM ACR0OS THE RO0m.  
From across the room I saw someone melting a gum drop with a lighter. I knew wat I had to do. I swiped my arm across the coffee table, knocking off everything. Jungkook knew too. He helped me lay down on the coffee table and dripped the melted gum drop over my exposed belly and tasteful rap-boobs.  



	3. y am i so bad at this

My beautiful potato boys gaped at the sight of my chest as I ripped my shirt in half. They all pounced like jaguars and licked and sucked pn my chest. I felt somone fondle my dick. Cheeky boys. I moaned as m balls were squeezed. I could feel some fingernails poke through my thin, shitty black jeans. It was like acupuncture for my dick. My anus tightened as.  
I wanted someone to choke me. It would help make sense of what I was feeling. I felt like all air had been sucked out of th room and all I fel was my sweet sweet booys. I loved thir touch.   
I had someone choke me. It felt good. I wanted a tongue insie my butthole. But I waned wipped chream too.   
“Will someone get me whipped cream?” I moaned as fingernails continued to poke my butthole. 

“I will,” a deep voice said behind me. “My name is T-Weed” 

T-Weed ws a big tall man with big tall hair. He had frosted tips ad giant abs. I wanted to lick them. His dick looked hard. 

“that’s my man and you can’t have him!” jin storms over and grabs t-weedd by the balls and pulls him to his chest. He pulls out an iron set to steam and begins ironing t-weeds shirt. T weed cuuuums in his pants.”  
“but now who will get me whipped cream?” I whined.

The lights went out all at once. T-weed screached in a high pitched voice. Fear penetrated my quivering chest. But just as panic started to consume us, a spotlight came on, focused on the doorway to the kitchen. In the spotlight: the tater tot girl, boobs GLISTENING and nips at full attention, her tater tot costume pushed down around her waist.   
“I’ve got you babe” she said, uncapping the whipped cream with a wet ‘pop’ and marching towards me in 10” stiletto heels. 

My dick had never been harder. 

Her whipped ceam was ketchup flavpred amd I wamted to fuck her up. I hgged her ad rubbed my hard dick against te inside of her thights. It felt warm and humid. I was so close to penetrating her but then I remember that I do not want potato chlymidia. U will die.   
I heard Jin yelling. It sounded like angry shards. A yard sard 

“you cannot get chymidia if you hav sex with me” T-Weed yelled, 

CONSENT   
as Jin began to masage his abs. I ignore dhim. T-Weed is no potato. I only want potato. For potato is me.

“after” potato girl groaned, licking my rapnips like lollipops. “stick it insie me” she begged, whipped cream squirting onto my penis.


	4. still going stroung

Meanwhile, a man was naked doing the robot. His frosted tips glistened in the party lights. His holloween costume was his muscles. He had tribal tattoos and a massive dong. He was wearing sunglasses inside. I had asked him for whipped cream early and he asked for us to fight snakes.   
*somene whispers* “I hate snekuuuuuu”   
I unleashed my cobra and he unleashed his ball python and prepared for battle. Who would come out on top…………….  
I stood up suddenly, the tater tot girl tumbling off my erect dingly donger, and rushed toward the frosted tips, who also had frosted nips, while helicoptering furiously.   
I moaned as our helicopter dicks kissed in the moonlight, making a wet slapping sound. Potato didn’t have anything on this chunky hunky. Our ecstasy was heightened by the moist hums of Jin and T-weed massaging each other’s abs with accelerating need. 

I squatted down and jazzed on the ground. It was blue. Did not want chlymidia. I cried.

An adam laabert song came on and my intense feelings intensified. I flt my soul give flight and I was truly in heaven. Hese were the people I wanted to spend my life with. I loved them. 

I stared at all the dics around me. They were all dicks of stong men and women tht I respected. I could neer forgwt how much I loved these people. I was one with the univers and I bega to sing a song. It was a long, sorrowful high note that was in krean. It mae everyone cry. I love them. 

Adam Lambert came in. He started to sing beautiful song. I asked what he waned. He said he was celibate. He did not have frosted tps anyway, so I ddid not want him. I love my friends. 

“My gluteus maximus needs a massage now,” T-Weed growled consensually. “Do I have your consent?” 

“I already have the whipped cream,” cheered Jin, his hands rubbing together in delight. 

Adam lambert cost too much soo he was written out. His song ended so he moonwaked out of the room except he tripped on the doorframe.   
“little bitch” I whipped my head around as I heard my true name apoken in a quiet but ppurposeful voice.   
“yes daddy?”  
“I’m gonna pre” said the glowing face of my one true love. Obama.   
“Thanks, Obama,” I gasped as he also moonwalked out, tripping on the other side of the doorframe.   
A single tear caressed my cheek.   
I came again aas Joe Biden soluted to me.   
Sudenly all the lights came n an a thousand Dutch people were watching me. We were in th red light district and thos bitches wer panting. They loved this dick.   
I cried off all traces of my black mascara. Draco Malfoy ws ther and atr my asshole. 

“you filfthy mudblood” draco said. Id id not know what that means as I never read harry potter. 

“there si no blood here” I reassured him. “keep pounding me” 

“nno, yuore not adam lambert. Take he frut and leave,” Draco put his tight skinny green jeans on again. He walked away ino the backyard to get some racnch.   
S  
“I love my giant butthole,” I said ot myself.


End file.
